My last personal blog was a more then month ago, and since then, I did mode three, which was Java-Script, This time, I did my tasks on the code challenge two weeks ago but didn’t finished it and had to do a solo project with a code review.

The feedback was that they saw I know JS, but they can’t thoroughly pass me because I didn’t make it to the minimum requirement. I wrote everything in comments for everything I would’ve done, and it was correct. Following week I had to miss Monday and take my oldest one to the doctor; unfortunately, he got strep. Monday was the day we were should get approved for our projects and get to work; I did it all on Tuesday and lost a whole day of work. Considering the circumstances, I had to push it, so I did.

I did all I could and stayed up late past bedtime to work on my project to make it something I will be proud of. I learned new things during this project; I genuinely think that doing a solo project is much harder because you have to do everything yourself, and you cant ask your partner to do instead of you. Sometimes you even don’t know what you are looking for and what you should google to solve the bug you encountered.

My project was redone twice because I couldn’t make it “sexy” the first time I wrote the project he was messy and hard to read, I didn’t want to break it later on trying to “dry” the code. The same week on Friday, I had my code review in live in front of two of my couches, and I was asked to do a straightforward action “fetch,” which I made multiple times before and my code challenge. As I already mentioned, I freak out in testing, especially coding live in front of the people that test me. Feedback was that I need to show the understanding by coding in front of people and that they can’t evaluate my knowledge by my project.

I was “sent away” to self paste program online. I didn’t expect to react so emotionally and be so discouraged by the news and spent the whole weekend thinking if I’m even good enough to continue, and maybe I should give up and drop off. I thought that if the staff saw I know what I’m doing during my first challenge and still choose to let me go that I need to let it go because I don’t own it.

But you know what? I have the most supportive partner in life, and he made me reasonable. I did such a long way from knowing nothing to know so much, and being able to write my apps, it is impressive, and no feedback should let me down, that I should take it and get better and grow professionally. He was right; I was able to manage many different situations in my life before, always excelled them. I’m managing school with two little kids; being a couple with no help trying to achieve the “American Dream” is an extra something most of the other students don’t experience, and that what makes me and us stronger and more committed.

The last week I took off from school to catch up all possible errands and appointments. Gained some more motivation to catch up and graduate soon. This Tuesday, I was officially transferred to the online program, and gained access to all labs and classes, managed to catch up and do 56% by now.

The past six weeks were an emotional roller coaster; I had to deal with disappointments I never felt before, I always excelled, and every way was my way. There is a comment that got under my skin, and I might be exaggerating. One of the professionals I’m working with asked me what I’m school for, so I answered that I’m a student for software development, his response was (I quote): “I don’t have any problem with beautiful, smart girls, I just thought you in school for nails or cosmetics.” He is a middle-aged man, a successful man, which get paid by “beautiful” girls like myself. How my looks can tell you what I’m capable of doing? I am a fighter, and I’m reaching my goals no matter what, and no matter how hard it is.

your inner circle of support is so essential fo deal with this roller coaster; I’m thankful for my husband, my mom, that told me that she couldn’t remember a case when I wanted something and couldn’t achieve it and my little loved ones that tell me “Good Job Mommy.”

One of the things that helped me realize I’m doing something unusual are the personal messages I got from readers. I couldn’t even believe future students / considering to enroll, will find my story interesting, you guys are inspiring, and I genuinely think you can do it!
Keep sending me your questions, feedback, thoughts, and let me know if overthinking the comment about beautiful girls.